Short jokes

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

You and Jason in your bed.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

Megamind.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

Rooster.

Why did the emo go to the store?

To buy bleach.

What did the Chinese man say to his wife?

I'll chin you later.

What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?

The pig smells better.

What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.

When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

Your hairline is in a different area code.