Short jokes
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
lolo.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.