Short jokes
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Yo mama so fat I bet if she farted, the whole Universe go Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."