Short jokes

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

Why do the police never catch the orphan?

The orphan is not wanted.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Bro, WW2 was just a joke.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.