She jokes

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

Why did the feminist fail algebra?

She couldn’t solve inequalities.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

Why did the hooker quit her job?

She had a nut allergy.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?

Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"

"Dave who?"

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."