She jokes
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.