Airline jokes

What's up with airline food?

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?

What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?

New York Jets.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

It just doesn't work...

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.