Airline Jokes

To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

Whats 9/11 survivors least favorite nfl team ?

New York Jets.

what worng with airline food...! theier not blakc and there not poeple. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! your'e welcom?

I was just chillin in the world trade center and got airplane wifi

my dad died in 911

but he was the pilot

Who lives in the pineapple under the see, Malasian Airlines Flight 303!

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

who crashed the plane? 1. Abu Faram?- terrorist 2. The little kid Joseph? 3. The passed out pilot?

OR JAMAL?

"whats the wifi password" '121i362" "its not working' "what wifi are you trying to connect to" "the united airline" were in the world trade center tho

Whats up with airline food?

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump? One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets. What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump? It just doesn't work...