She jokes

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

It's not rape if she doesn't say no.

Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.