She jokes

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.

Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!

What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

"She's gonna blow!"

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.