Sexuality jokes

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

What do you call a gay drive up?

A fruit roll-up.

Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they're fucking assholes.

What do orgasms and pulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.