Sexuality

Sexuality jokes

Masturbation

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Cucumber

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Dude

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they're fucking assholes.

Orientation

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

Trans

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Panty

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Lesbian

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.

Orgasm

What do orgasms and pulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Meat

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

Refrigerator

What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Gay

Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?

Because at 69 they blow a rod.

Wank

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...