Sexuality jokes

What do orgasms and pulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.

Why did the gay man get raped?

He assed for it.

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

What is an Irish kiss?

Fellatio from a gay Irishman.

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"