What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Sexuality Jokes
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
I'm gay.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
I'm gay, lol.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
