Sex jokes
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!
Memes
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.