What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Sex Jokes
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
What is the definition of fellatio?
Auto masturbation.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
