Sex jokes
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.