Sex jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.