Sex jokes

If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One to trust and the other to thrust.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

What is the definition of fellatio?

Auto masturbation.

Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.

Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.