Sex jokes
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.