Sex jokes

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."