Sex jokes
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.