Sex jokes

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."