Sex jokes

A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"

What's the difference between apples and dead babies?

I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.

Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?

Because they got little dicks and big mouths.

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.

His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

His boss told him: "You suck."

And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

XD

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?

A slow clap.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?

The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.

Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

What is the best type of girl to fuck?

Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)