Sex jokes

Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?

To get a daddy.

Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

Why was baptism invented?

How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now.

How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.

How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.

How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"