A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Sex Jokes
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
