Sex jokes
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Memes
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:
"Iβm here for the new position?"
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.