Sex jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.