I am a racist and i put my milk before cereal...well, to be honest that was when i had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some...then he left. Now when i see a black guy, I yell "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt"
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
When a person asked to see her balence at a bank, they pushed him over.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
What did the parents say to the parents ,
YOU CANT SEE Me
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming ,he asks how do know you cant see .she replies ,i can taste it.
ur mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger. "So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance."
knock knock whose there you you who who do you see over there???
What does off-limits have in common with dead people because they can’t see their family
What does dead people and often it’s having common because they can’t see the family
i want to die to see the other side but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mummies chest? Dad: i don't see balloons, but i see boobs, i mean, yes balloons Son: Are you sure they're balloons yesterday i heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working
