Science jokes
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
Poor Uranus, he is so gassy.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.