Science jokes
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
Memes
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
NASA stands for "Nobody asks scientists anymore."
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
Very funny battery joke.