Science jokes
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
Whatβs the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He canβt walkie or talkie.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tailβit'll be delighted!
Memes
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, youβre a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
Why couldnβt the guy make bubbles?
He couldnβt find the right solution.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
Very funny battery joke.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.