Science jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Rocks rock and crack!