Science jokes
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
Memes
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.