Science jokes
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For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Memes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.