Science jokes

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.

Why does the nucleus feel trapped?

Because it’s inside a cell!

What does the cell ride to work?

A vesicle.

August 3rd is the moon of earth, earth, moon, earth, universe.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.