Science jokes
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Memes
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
Steven Hawking
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
His wife shut off the internet.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.