Science jokes
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Steven Hawking
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.