Science jokes
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Steven Hawking
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"