Science jokes

How did Steven Hawkings die?

His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.

What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?

Oof, mitosis!

What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?

Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.

Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.

I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?

Because he is Stephen HAWKings.

Steven Hawking

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.

The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.

His wife shut off the internet.

The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?

'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.

Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.