Science jokes
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Memes
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Steven Hawking
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.