Science jokes
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.