If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
