Science jokes
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.