New Science Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?

RHYME-STEIN.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?

MC Squared.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”