Science jokes
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.