Science jokes
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
Uranus is cold.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."