What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Science Jokes
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
NASA is big fat poo 💩 no🍱🍠🥮🧀🍘🧀.
NASA stands for naughty aliens spewing apricots.
What does NASA stand for? 🍝🧇🍝🧇🍝
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
