School jokes
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
Tracy Latimer was described as cheerful, popular at school, and as an animal lover.
Just trying to gas her up a little bit.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.