School jokes
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?
Not too sure. I just fly the drone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it's pointless.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
What’s an orphan's high school nickname?
Lone stone.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
Little Johnny was finishing up his homework when the teacher gave him an assignment for the day. The instructions were simple: compare two objects; we will work on contrast next week.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
"Fuck the school, fuck it!"
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.