School jokes

Like if you hate going to school.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

What does a chicken give you?

Student: Meat.

What does a pig give you?

Student: Bacon.

What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework.