School jokes

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?

Impossible!

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

Q: How did the explorers get to school?

A: They rode the Colum-bus!

Why did Sally stay in school?

Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

Like if you hate going to school.

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"