School jokes
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
Like if you hate going to school.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"