School jokes

I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?

Because they can't get a parent's signature.

One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,

"You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."

Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"

Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......

And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?

A Panera grade.

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.