Scale jokes

When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."

Yo mama is so fat we need to use yo papa!

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Asian Grading scale: A- Average.

B- Half Average.

C- Stupid idiot!

D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!

F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.