Scale jokes
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Memes
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
I want your weight, not your phone number.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.