Scale jokes
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Big
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.