Scale jokes
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.