Scale jokes
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Which part of a fish weighs the most? The scales!
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?