Scale jokes
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"