Scale jokes

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

What do you call a kid who sings well?

Melodic Minor.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

I bet when you take a bath, they give you the whole pool. No, better yet, the ocean!

Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.

Which part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales!

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama is so fat we need to use yo papa!