Say jokes

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?

Because he wanted it to smell good.

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?

Pokemon!

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

What did the cow say?

Moo!

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?

“I’m gonna cashew!”

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"

What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

What do you say to make a redhead mad?

Anything.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.