Say jokes
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
What did Caesar’s cat say to him? Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"