Say jokes
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?
Thank a Roo.
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
"Say, Tenya, I heard you say that you hate Gwen. Will [you] join us!"
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
Father heard his children scream,
so he threw them in the stream.
Saying, as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard!"
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive” or something like goddam. Just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh.