Say jokes
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍