Say jokes

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

What did Mars say to Saturn?

"Give me one of your rings!" 😄

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Or,

"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.

Seek: Why do I have to be it?

Figure: Because your name says so.

So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"

So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry.

(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

What did Robin say to Batman when they were getting chicken?

Hahaha, I don't know.