Say jokes

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."

What does a depressed person say when they're happy?

"..."

How does water say hi?

It waves.

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

Say, "Crack my fingers."

Now say that backwards...

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Owl say.

Owl say who?

Yes, they do.

Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke.

Jokes have meaning.

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?

JENGA!!!!

What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...