Say jokes
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.