Say jokes
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?
Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."