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Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Atta?
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What was I saying again?
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf