Say jokes

What did the coal say to the charcoal?

You look pretty coal! 🤣

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

Say, "Moommy."

I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

Alternative punchline:

"I had to call social services, she was only 14."

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

5 knock knock jokes from best to corny.

1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in the door.

2. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!

3. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey isn't working, can you let me in?

4. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me, that's who!

5. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?

Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

He replied, " "

Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."