Say jokes
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You've got me DROPPING like it's HOT!"
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.