What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
Here Comes The Airplane!
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people
But quite Anne frankly I'd be lying
two husbands walk into a bar the first one says my wife is an angel the second one says your lucky mine is still alive
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? Beehive Yourselves!
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct Tape.
I was blessed with a 9inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit” girl says “who” boy goes “ my ass cheeks”
At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
What does Stephen Hawkins say after sex? That was wheely good
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What did the North tower say to the south tower. "sorry can't talk, got to catch a plane"
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period? I will be back next month
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You cant beetah the cheetah
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that...I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Why don't mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing"
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says "I look like a brain", Cashew says "I look like a kidney", Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
