Say jokes
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!
Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!
http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters
You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."