Say jokes
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Memes
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’