Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
Say Jokes
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
