Say jokes

What did the orphan say to the adopter?

Nothing, he just stared.

What did the fish say to the beach?

"Long tide, no see!"

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"

"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?

I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?