Say jokes
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
It tasted funny!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."