Say jokes
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?
Nothing, triangles can't talk.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."