Say jokes

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?

"Wow, Harry!"

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?

“Nice spread!”

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

I'mma cashew outside!

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

Dog: Woof!

Butcher: Say less.

What did the orphan say to the adopter?

Nothing, he just stared.

What did the fish say to the beach?

"Long tide, no see!"

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

What did the Deagle say to the G17?

"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!