Say Jokes

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

this meme had me thinking

A yellow minion with a confused expression stands to the right of a list of questions titled 'INTERESTING CONFUSIONS'. The questions include: Can you cry under water? Do fishes ever get thirsty? Why don't birds fall off trees when they sleep? Why is it called building when it is already built? When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it? If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? Why does round pizza come in square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? The text ends with 'Crazy world isn't it?'

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?

"Bi-son."

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."