Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Say Jokes
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
