Say jokes

What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"

What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?

"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How do sick Mexicans say hello?

"Ebola."

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.