Say jokes

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"

What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?

"Yo, drop the BEAT!"

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You're my closet confidant!"

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?

"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"

A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?

Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?

"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"

Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.

Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?

"What a re-leaf."