Say jokes
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
What does William say when he hurts his toe?
"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out."
Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?