Say jokes

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?

Hey, man.

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.