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Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.