Say jokes
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”