Say jokes

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

What did the priest say during the christening?

"So anyway, I started blasting!"

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

What did the shirt say to the pants?

Belt.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Şehmus ne demiş? Ne bileyim, olm, ona sor.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"