Say jokes
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. It just "waved!"
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.