Say jokes
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What do you say to an emo's wrist?...
"I like ur cut G."
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"