What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
Say Jokes
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.