Say jokes
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?
"This is a nice reflection!"
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"