Say jokes
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"