Say jokes

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?

A: "I'm calling your parents!"

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

What did the cow say to your mom?

Hello.