Say jokes

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?

"Our souls will rain forever."

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

"I sea him!"

What did the letter A say to the letter B?

"Z" you later.

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."